Perhaps 'ex' needed to be redefined to properly describe them. Either that, or someone needed to introduce them to the concept of 'Gay BFF.'

Sadly, if he was hoping for anything coherent once she stepped into his arms and started sobbing in earnest, he was going to have a bit of a wait. He might at least manage to make out "...Katchoo..." in there, though, along with a "...don't know what I did wrong..."