Room 505, Saturday Afternoon

[thatsamilkshake]

After everything that had happened in the last few weeks, Francine should probably be spending her last Saturday in Fandom wandering around the island enjoying the sights and sounds of the place as it was supposed to be, not sprawled on her bed reading Cosmo, but... air conditioning.

And Slim Your Thighs In 6 Minutes a Day.

[OOC: for a phone call, and the roomiebffgirl, of course, if she so desires. I WARN YOU NOW I AM FALLING ASLEEP, PEOPLE.]

Comments

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"...is there one?" And thus they were 'invented' in ye olde England.

[thatsamilkshake]

"Of course. They're smush-proof. ...Mostly." There was an incident in the back of a station wagon when she was twelve. Not even the cake safe survived.

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"How mostly?"

[thatsamilkshake]

"I kind of smooshed one once. But I was rolling across the back of a station wagon and accidentally shoved my knee into it. How likely is that to happen again?"

Page thirty-seven of that Cosmo could probably give her decent odds, though the subject wasn't exactly cake-safes. More How Not To Send Him To The Emergency Room During Sex.

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"...well." Considering it was them...

[thatsamilkshake]

...Cough. "Why were you buying Cosmopolitan, anyway?" When in doubt, distract. DISTRACT.

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"It looked interesting!" And junk. "What's a vah-jay-jay?"

[thatsamilkshake]

"...what?"

Oh, she knew exactly what he was asking. She'd seen the cover before she bought it.

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

Merlin had to take the phone away from his ear and make sure his hearing remained intact. "Francine?"

[thatsamilkshake]

"...What?" Lalalala. "Why... seriously?"

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"It's on the cover!"

[thatsamilkshake]

Yes. Yes, Francine was aware. Francine was well aware. Francine had taken the magazine through the self-check at the Kwik-E-Mart just so she could hide that cover.

"Why didn't you just read the article?
Oh God, now she was picturing Merlin reading that article. There were beads in it. The title was made up of sparkly beads.

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

There was the sound of papers being turned. "What is it about?"

[thatsamilkshake]

It was about turning Francine's face the same color as the article's background.

"It's about... what it says on the cover?

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"Untamed--" He frowned, having just found the article. The dead air said everything.

[thatsamilkshake]

Yeah. Right there with him. Though eventually she had to ask, "Merlin? You okay?"

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"Do women really do that?"

[thatsamilkshake]

"NO!"

That...was probably a lie, but Francine didn't care. As far as she was concerned, it was true and she'd make it true by the sheer power of her disbelief that any other situation could possibly exist.

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

It was totally a lie, Francine. But a good one.

"Why would they do this?!"

[thatsamilkshake]

"I don't know! Because they're crazy? Because they have more money than brains? Because aliens made them do it?"

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"LADY GHANIMA?!"

[thatsamilkshake]

"...Maybe?" Francine replied doubtfully. Also now there were MENTAL IMAGES AND KSAJSHLKJAHD:KJH. "I was thinking of slightly crazier aliens though."

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

That noise? That was the magazine being tossed across the room. "I'm never reading that again."

[thatsamilkshake]

"Well, I didn't buy it for that article! But there was the, you know. The leg exercises, and...." Francine was, somehow, still transfixed by the pink and sparkly page. At last, she flipped it wildly to anything else, which was... "...positions."

...She said that out loud, didn't she.

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"...you read the positions too?" He totally ripped those pages out.