Camelot: Saturday Afternoon. While Merlin And Arthur Are Off Holding Hands Like Otters.

[thatsamilkshake]

Francine had long ago figured out that Angelica Demesnes and her ilk -- not that Francine would use the word ilk unless she was trying to spell milk in a game of Scrabble and somebody else had already laid down the M -- had no clue what life was like in a medieval kingdom.

What she was sadly finding out now was that medieval kingdoms had no clue how to write historically-suspect bodice-heaving romance the way Angelica Demesnes did.

Instead, she got to sit on a step and try to make it through at least one paragraph of Ye Tragik Historye of Sir Ethelred the Dubious and His Enormouse-Busumed Wyfe before her eyes started swimming again.

[For NPC shenanigans, though The Girl, she is welcome also!]

Comments

[camelotfolk.livejournal.com]

Guinevere had never indulged in any book of its ilk, thank you very much (except for when she'd peeked while-- but nevermind that.) She flashed the back of Francine's head a quick, unsure smile, then smoothed out her skirts and sat down next to her.

"The Lady Morgana likes those," she said. "I mean-- not only those, or anything, and I'm sure other people like them as well."

[thatsamilkshake]

"Seriously?" Francine hadn't meant for it to come out quite so disbelieving. "I mean, um... Not that there's anything wrong with liking them! I just didn't picture Morgana as the type." Whatever that type was, considering that Francine was about to fall asleep over the book.

[camelotfolk.livejournal.com]

"I think they help her sleep," Gwen confided. "Not that they're boring!"

She'd used to like them-- but the real thing, as it turned out, was actually much more romantic than books.

[thatsamilkshake]

"So far I know more about this lady's tapestries, how many sheep her father had to give to her husband so he'd marry her, and the last grain harvest, than I do about her." Francine closed the book, keeping one finger in as a place-marker because God knew she didn't want to accidentally re-read all that stuff. "Except for the enormous bosom. That got mentioned about five times already."

[camelotfolk.livejournal.com]

Gwen fidgeted with the edges of her dress. "At least it's practical?" she said. "Except for the bosom; I don't even begin to understand any of that."

More practicalities and less romance: sounded almost perfect in Gwen's book. In a way.

[thatsamilkshake]

"There's not much in there about love though." Francine shook her head a bit. "I'm not sure she even likes the guy."

[camelotfolk.livejournal.com]

"Is he kind to her?" she asked, leaning over to get a glimpse at Francine's book.

[thatsamilkshake]

Francine flipped it back open. "I guess? She gets all the new dresses she wants, judging from how much she talks about them."

If Francine ever made it past the first chapter, she might actually meet Sir Aelfrik the Dashing and discover why it was a Tragik Historye.

[camelotfolk.livejournal.com]

"Well, that's good, then, isn't it?" Gwen said, leaning back a little on the stairs. "She's cared for and he's kind, and he's there..."

[thatsamilkshake]

"His name's in the title; it'd be kind of a rip-off for the reader if he wasn't there." Francine smoothed out the apron she was wearing over her skirt and set the book down on her lap. "I don't know. I guess that's what I used to want too: a husband who'd take care of me. Well, that and five kids and to be a prima ballerina."

Because those two items were simultaneously possible.

[camelotfolk.livejournal.com]

"I'd still like that," Gwen said, quietly. "It's hard finding a man who'll stay around."

Not that she was bitter about anything. "Did something change? I mean-- if you don't mind my asking, I don't want to be rude."

[thatsamilkshake]

She couldn't exactly say I met Katchoo. That happened when she was twelve.

"I suppose I did. Finally. I could've had that life -- I almost did, with Merlin -- but we both finally realized we wanted something else." Cough. some people realized that faster than others, Francine.

[camelotfolk.livejournal.com]

Gwen sat up. "Oh," she said, "Oh, sorry, I didn't realise that you and Merlin-- I mean, you are very lovely, I just didn't know--"

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

"There's too many extra vowels in there, Francie," declared Katchoo, who'd just escaped a shift in the laundry and had the damp sleeves to show for it, once she'd snuck up behind Francine and stood there long enough to get a look at the page.

[thatsamilkshake]

Francine laughed. "I don't mind that so much; it reminds me of Merlin."

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

"I'm used to it in text messages by now." Katchoo rolled up said damp sleeves and sat down next to Francine. "Or posters. It looks wrong in books, still."

[thatsamilkshake]

"So does handwriting." Despite how neat it was. "Also, the words 'enormouse-busumed.'"

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

Katchoo's snort was not elegant by any stretch of the imagination no matter what era you were in.

"Aw, geez -- do the extra vowels mean it's even bigger?"

[thatsamilkshake]

"Either that or she's hiding an actual mouse in there."

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

"If it's that 'enormouse,'" Katchoo mused, holding her hands out about two feet in front of her chest, "she could hide a cat in there and nobody'd notice. That's sexy."

[thatsamilkshake]

Francine flipped to one of the illustrated panels. "Pretty much. Also it looks like she's wearing a corset so tight that her ribs disintegrated."

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

"Nah. She had 'em surgically removed to fit," Katchoo said, deadpan. "Wow, move over, bad Internet smut, we have a competitor."

[thatsamilkshake]

"You'd think so from the pictures, but all it is so far is sheep and tapestries." Francine shook her head.

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

Katchoo tried to reach over and flip further into the book. "Trying to spin it as a delayed-gratification tactic would be too much credit, huh?"

[thatsamilkshake]

"I don't know. I didn't try to cheat and look ahead, unlike some people!"